


when/where/why

by Sorry_im_trash



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, author doesn't know how to tag, set after s01 ep08, temporary memory loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 16:25:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12657183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sorry_im_trash/pseuds/Sorry_im_trash
Summary: Paul Stamets has troubles with knowing when he is





	when/where/why

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh the title will change when I'm feeling more creative  
> This was something short i kinda had to get out of my system  
> Hope y'all dont hate it!

Paul woke up slowly. The lights were dim, but even then he could tell that something was off. The low hum, the white sheets, this was not his dorm.

 

Just as he was starting to steady his breathing, something moved next to him. _Someone_.

 

Paul shot up in panic, scrambling off of the bed. His legs got tangled in the sheets and he fell on the floor. The figure woke up, sat on the bed, and with a voice that was soft but tinted with emotion (maybe worry? Paul had never been that good with emotions) “Paul? You okay?” and when he couldn’t get himself to answer, “computer, lights.”

 

The second the lights hit the brown man’s worried eyes, Paul knew exactly where he was. It wasn’t his grayish beige dorm of the Academy, this was the clean and white quarters in the Discovery. A neat bed he shared with his husband. His husband whom he’d been married to for the past 20 years. His husband who was now looking at him with those beautiful eyes filled with confusion and worry.

 

“Paul, what happened? Are you okay?”

 

Paul took a deep breath and got up. He felt tears behind his eyes but blinked them away. “I- I’m okay,” he said, not sounding convincing even to himself.

 

The doctor moved up to sit on the edge of the bed. “Is it the loops again?”

 

“Y- yes.”

 

It really wasn’t the loops, and Paul hated lying to his Hugh. But he couldn’t tell his dear doctor, not this. So he would blame this all on a nightmare (not that he didn’t have those - images of Hugh dead would haunt him forever) and not make any bigger of a mess.

 

Really, he wasn’t sure of what was going on in his mind anymore. The jumping made him dizzy, made things jumbled his his brain. What was, what is, what will, what could… it was all an unorganized mess, and more and more often Paul would not know who he was, let alone where and why.

 

Hugh opened his arms and Paul sat with him, accepting the hug, feeling the need to be held. The tears were there again. A terrifying thought came to him as the doctor ran his fingers through his blonde hair, whispering soothing promises to his ear.

 

What if he forgot Hugh. What if the memory of him got so lost, so out of place that he couldn’t find it anymore. What if he lost his Hugh.

 

So he clung to his husband with all he had, promising himself to remember, to hold this moment and all the others like nothing else. And he knew that as long as Hugh would be there for him, holding him, he would be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Uhh also sorry for writing new things when i have like 4 works in progress I'm the worst


End file.
